Syaoran's True Happiness
by jadesword
Summary: Syaoran finds true happiness, years after the end of the TV series. AU fic.


Syaoran's True Happiness (Syaoran no Hontou no Shiawase)  
  
by jadesword  
  
a CCS S+S fanfic  
  
tunay na ligaya  
  
di ko pansin ang kislap ng bituin pag kapiling ka sinta  
  
kahit liwanag ng buwan sa gabi di ko na nasisita  
  
iisa lang ang naghaharing tala sa mundo  
  
tanging ikaw ang liwanag sa buhay ko  
  
di ko pansin ang bango ng hasmin pag kapiling ka sinta  
  
kahit gadagat ang dami ng rosas hindi matataranta  
  
iisa lang ang nagtataglay ng halimuyak  
  
at ikaw nga tanging ikaw sinta  
  
ikaw ang tunay na ligaya tanging ikaw sinta  
  
umaga hapon kahit magdamag laging ikaw sinta  
  
hindi magsasawa sa piling mo  
  
di ko pansin ang bawat sandali pag kapiling ka sinta  
  
bagyo't ulan kulog at kidlat man di napapansin sinta  
  
iisa lang ang hinihiling kong kasagutan  
  
ang ngayon at kailanma'y makapiling ka  
  
ikaw ang tunay na ligaya tanging ikaw sinta  
  
umaga hapon kahit magdamag laging ikaw sinta  
  
hindi magsasawa sa piling mo  
  
tunay na ligaya: words and music by Ryan Cayabyab, vocals by Ariel Rivera  
  
*****  
  
Li Syaoran felt very small indeed as, alone, he strode into the great Dragon Halls, crossing to the only empty space left. With great respect he bowed to the aged leader of the Li family, who cleared his throat to begin.  
  
'We are gathered here today beneath our illustrious clan banners for a matter of grave import. We have been furnished a petition by one of our members, and are now called upon to provide a just and proper solution....'  
  
He was clenching and unclenching his fists inside his sleeves in impatience -- a habit that remained even though he was already six months confirmed as an adult of the family -- until an all-too-familiar voice sounded in the chamber.  
  
'Honorable clan leader.'  
  
The veiled maiden who stood across from him was revealed to be Meilin Li, resplendent in pale yellow robes with sea-green highlights. Her black hair was down from its usual tailed odango, swept instead into a loose plait tied halfway down her back.  
  
Adolescence had agreed with her immensely, as even he would grudgingly admit. She had not suffered any awkwardness as she changed inside out, only grown stronger in both her chosen arts and in her own sense of self.  
  
Much like Sakura did, when the Clow Cards accepted her.  
  
'Lady Meilin,' and the clan leader nodded down at her. 'Speak of your desire to us.'  
  
She dropped a low bow to all and began. 'It is a great boon I crave of my family, one for which I beg your favor and your understanding. I...Syaoran,' and she turned to him with a smile of her own, 'I wish to ask our family to break our engagement.'  
  
'Break...why, Meilin?' he asked, shocked.  
  
Around them the Dragon Halls erupted with a buzz of opinions.  
  
'I wish it so, that's all.' She stepped to him and caught up his hands in hers. 'I know that you, too, want the engagement broken. I know now that you refused to break it before, when we were younger, because your honor would not permit you to hurt me. I know you kept your peace for my sake. No longer, Syaoran....' She returned to her place and raised her voice over the clamor: 'Syaoran and I wish this engagement broken; the condition our family asks for is so fulfilled. I beg the clan leader to consider this matter in a favorable view....'  
  
'Come in.'  
  
He watched as the eldest Lady Li entered her heir's darkened bedroom.  
  
Syaoran knew he was barely visible at the head of his bed, covered from the waist down by silken sheets, eyes hidden beneath the unruly fringe of his bangs. He was gripping his bedclothes with clenched fists, his white knuckles made even paler in the thin wash of moonlight that struggled through the heavy, drawn drapes.  
  
A clock outside chimed eight times -- he knew it was far too early for anyone to retire, and yet here he was, despondent and depressed.  
  
'It isn't the engagement,' he heard her murmur as she sat down beside him, taking his hand in a rare gesture of affection. 'What troubles you, Syaoran?'  
  
'No, Mother, not the engagement.' He raised pained eyes to her and soldiered on, through a fresh wave of sadness: 'I should be happy I'm free, Mother, but I can't find it in myself while...while she's so far away....' Despite himself the tears started to leak out from his eyes, and he turned away, choking down his sobs. 'It hurts....'  
  
Cool fingers touched his chin, then tipped it around so that their eyes were meeting. Lady Li waited until he gave her his full attention, then spoke softly, gently: 'What do you want, my son?'  
  
'I...she is my cure, Mother. The Card Captor...Sakura...I want to be with her....'  
  
To Syaoran's surprise, Lady Li nodded once and pressed his hand with hers. 'Sleep now, my young wolf. Sleep, and all will be well in the morning, I promise you.' She glided out with a last smile for him, and closed the door behind her.  
  
Will it really be all right? Exhausted from the events of the day, he sank at last into sleep.  
  
Syaoran dreamed.  
  
In the dream he was ten again, feeling his green Card Captor garb swirl around him as he stood atop the clock tower near Tomoeda Elementary School. His muscles were tensed, he was like a coiled spring...as if he was awaiting something....  
  
'Sakura Card: release!'  
  
The starlight around him was eclipsed, three sudden heartbeats...and then the shadows' owners burst into view high above his tower perch. Six wings above him, silver and gold and one dressed in black....  
  
Keroberos' voice drifted down to him: 'Sakura...don't let that Clow Card get away! You must capture it before anything worse happens....'  
  
'I know that! Let's hurry, Keroberos, Yue!'  
  
He undertook the incredible leap down from the clock tower and started running, eyes glued to the white-winged shadow high above him, a pilgrim keeping faith with his guiding star....  
  
'Master Syaoran, you must wake up.'  
  
Reluctantly he cracked his eyes open...to find Wei standing over him and his bags packed, waiting near the door. He sat up, scrubbing away the sleep, and asked the logical question: 'What's going on?'  
  
'You're booked for an afternoon flight to Tokyo, Master Syaoran,' the manservant replied with patient good cheer. 'Mistress has ordered me to accompany you back, and to see to your needs while you are there. I am also instructed,' and he picked up a slim, black-wrapped case from the nightstand, 'to deliver this into Miss Sakura's hands personally, as a gift from your honorable mother.'  
  
The mention of her name routed him out of bed, and he bolted for the bathroom. 'How long do we have?'  
  
'We must be at the airport in an hour and a half.'  
  
A fast bath and a hurried round of good-byes later, Syaoran and Wei were speeding for Kai Tak Airport, and for Narita.  
  
Syaoran had a good reason to take the long way to Sakura's neighborhood: he wanted to see what had changed in the quiet suburb in the years since he'd gone away, and he wanted to relive his own younger years, the years he'd first shared with her.  
  
The route also took him past the local flower shop.  
  
'Good morning, what can I do for you?' the middle-aged proprietress asked as she came around the counter to assist them. 'Would you be interested in our summer blooms?'  
  
The young man wandered off into the back of the store, and was confronted with a solid wall of riotously colored roses.  
  
He was reminded of Sakura's blushes and the forever green of her eyes, and he picked out a solid armful of deep red roses to take to her house.  
  
'Excellent choice!' The woman beamed at her customer as she rang up the sale. 'Shall I arrange them for you? Put them in a box, perhaps?'  
  
'No,' he replied quickly, 'just wrap them in white paper and tie them with a pink ribbon. That would be all, thank-you-very-much.'  
  
The way back was so familiar, so unchanged, and he leaned on the doorbell as if he were ten again and his old, brash-yet-aloof self.  
  
'Coming!'  
  
The door swung open and Kinomoto Fujitaka blinked at him and his companion. 'Ah...Li-kun, Wei-san! This is a surprise, a surprise indeed...please, come in, make yourselves at home....'  
  
When they were all seated in the den he swallowed hard and spoke: 'Kinomoto- sensei, may I know where Sakura...Sakura-san is?'  
  
'You may,' and the slightly gray-haired professor smiled with benevolence. 'She has the morning shift at the hospital nursery today, but she'll be coming home for lunch....' His words were cut off with the sound of a key turning in the front door lock. 'And that's probably her now,' he finished, rising again. 'Please excuse me, I must see to lunch. You're welcome to stay, of course.'  
  
'Father, I'm home...hoe?!'  
  
Syaoran stared, vaguely aware that Sakura was, too.  
  
Wei abruptly cleared his throat. 'Excuse us for disturbing you and yours, Miss Sakura.'  
  
'Oh...no, no imposition at all, Wei-san. Li-kun....' She came in then, seating herself on the couch beside him. 'It's very nice to see you again. What brings you here?'  
  
Again his manservant spoke for him. 'Master Syaoran has...some pressing business to attend to here in Tokyo. A matter that requires his full personal attention, you see. And, oh yes, please accept this.' He held out his package to her. 'A gift from the Li family, as are Master Syaoran's roses.'  
  
'Um, yeah.' He shoved the huge bouquet at her, eyes down. 'Please accept these too.'  
  
'Thank you,' and for a moment he was lost in her smile, the smile he remembered from when they were ten. Her face shone even more as she unwrapped her present.  
  
Even he had to gasp -- the box contained in its satin depths the oldest of the family heirlooms: a thin golden chain from which hung a small, but elegant jade dragon, five claws clutching a tiny crystal star.  
  
'Oooh...it's beautiful, thank you so much,' Sakura said again. Painfully thin fingers picked up the necklace with delicacy, and she held it out to him, to his everlasting surprise. 'Please, Li-kun...no, Syaoran-kun,' and she gave him a sheepish little grin for the naming mistake, 'will you help me put it on?'  
  
'Yes,' he heard himself saying from a great distance. He took the heirloom from her with shaking fingers of his own and nodded to her to turn around.  
  
'Ah yes! So sorry.' She gave him her back and raised both hands to hold a long, loosened plait of light brown hair out of the way.  
  
When did she start growing her hair? Maybe that's why the back of her neck is so pale.... Syaoran managed to clasp the necklace on the first try, and he allowed himself to touch her bare skin for a brief instant, before tapping her on the shoulder with the word 'Done.'  
  
'Syaoran-kun, I....' Sakura looked nervously around the room; Wei was nowhere in sight but she could hear his voice in the kitchen, along with her father's. 'Thank you for coming back. It's really very nice to see you again, I've missed you so....' Her words died away again, and he stared at her for the longest moment....  
  
'Lunch is ready, Sakura, Li-kun!'  
  
Dark and heavy clouds brooded, looking oddly protective, over the white- painted heights of Tomoeda General Hospital as he braked his bicycle beside the sidewalk opposite. The front basket contained a strange cargo, actually Sakura's lunch box wrapped in a dark blue furoshiki patterned with starbursts and comets, and a matching umbrella stuck between the extra-wide metal mesh.  
  
Syaoran had to grin at the strange circumstances of his morning. He had taken to biking past the Kinomoto house early every day for exercise, often seeing Sakura off at the bus stop. Today he had been late waking up, and when he went by she had already left, apparently in a great hurry -- so she was without her lunch and her rain gear.  
  
Fujitaka had asked him for the favor, as he had a teachers' convocation to attend, and now he walked through the glass doors and to the receptionist. 'Nurse Kinomoto please, may I know where she is?'  
  
'Seventh floor, north nurses' station.'  
  
'Thank you.'  
  
He stepped out of the elevator and onto a floor of primary colors, cartoon characters and flowers. Children went past him, some in wheelchairs with their companions, some dragging their IV stands behind them, and some walking along with their hands in their nurses'.  
  
'Sakura-neechan!'  
  
Thump  
  
'Mou, Madoka-chan, that hurts! You're too heavy!'  
  
His head whipped around...and he grinned again at the sight: Sakura in her pink-and-white uniform and her cap knocked askew, bent over nearly double by the weight of the pretty little girl who'd just leapfrogged onto her back. 'Perhaps I can be of assistance,' he said, smothering his chuckles as he headed for the pair.  
  
'Syaoran-kun! Mou,' she said again, wincing while he pried Madoka's fingers out of her disheveled braid, then staggering into an ungraceful heap on the floor as another nurse led the still-giggling child back to her room. 'Now I'm embarrassed! Why did you have to come now?'  
  
'Because you forgot your lunch and your umbrella,' and he held out the two items to her, grinning again at the look of pure chagrin on her features. 'Don't worry,' he said jokingly, 'I won't tell anyone this happened.'  
  
'It already did,' and she headed to the nurses' station, waving him past the barrier. 'I didn't even have a chance to have breakfast, so this is it, I guess. At least I'm on a break now. Would you like some?' She began to unwrap the bundle, but was stopped when he placed his hand on hers.  
  
'I have an even better idea.'  
  
'We've never done this before, have we?' Sakura split her chopsticks and dug into her steaming bowl of ramen.  
  
He had persuaded her to take a really early leave, was surprised when he was seconded by the other nurses, and had succeeded in leading her two blocks to an outdoor noodle shop for breakfast. It was his second and her belated first, and they were practically squashed together at the far end of the little cart's cramped counter, steam from the stove and from their bowls wreathing their faces.  
  
'No.' Syaoran ate slowly though his heart was beating like a jackhammer. 'We were too young then, I think.'  
  
'Then I guess it's a good thing we grew up,' the young woman noted as she slurped down some noodles.  
  
Yes. Again he was shocked by her insight, so deep and yet she didn't seem to know what she was doing to him. Is it because she's the Card Captor, or because.... I had to grow older just to know for sure that she's the one I want.... 'Hmm?' he responded, distracted by a sudden nudge into his ribs.  
  
'Hoeeee!!!' Sakura let out a little shriek as without warning the heavens unleashed a storm upon them, scattering the cart's customers and leaving the two of them stranded on the street corner.  
  
'Oh no,' the old man grumped, 'great, rain, and just when it was almost time for lunch....'  
  
'We left all of our things at your bike!' Sakura wailed. 'How are we going to get back?'  
  
'Let's stay here, if he'll let us,' he said, looking at the old man, who shrugged. 'We can still eat, though we'll have to go faster, before the rain cools it too much.'  
  
'Oh. Okay.'  
  
Twenty minutes later the rain was still pouring, and he felt, rather than saw, Sakura shivering from the cold -- they were still huddled together under the dubious shade of the cart. He was startled at how easily it came to him to wrap his arms around her and pull her close. 'Is this better?' he asked gently, almost in her ear.  
  
'Hai,' came a sleepy little voice near his throat.  
  
'Sakura?' It was a huge liberty he'd taken, just calling her by her first name.  
  
'Yes, Syaoran?'  
  
His heart leapt at the way she'd responded, calling him as well by just his first name. Just my name!  
  
'Sakura, can we stay like this for a while?'  
  
Long pause, then she replied: 'No.'  
  
He felt something inside him break as he asked the next question: 'Why?'  
  
'Because I want to stay like this with you for always. I've been waiting for you to come back, all this time....' Sakura shifted up to look straight in his eyes, and he caught his breath as he saw himself in that sea of jade.  
  
His world was new again, and he suddenly remembered the significance of the dragon necklace -- that particular dragon, the one she now owned, was the symbol of rebirth, of making all things new, and of ultimate happiness....  
  
'I won't leave you again, Sakura. Never again.' My only happiness....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author's notes:  
  
Finished! I haven't written a fanfic in a very long time! This is my first time writing CCS stuff, so please be nice when you read it. Thank you.  
  
This is not exactly a songfic, even though I've put a set of lyrics up top and a translation at the bottom. I maintain only that all of this was inspired by that song, and I've taken cues from it in the writing.  
  
I hope I can be forgiven by Lady Aria for trying on the style she used in her CCS fic Ulan. It's not exactly plagiarism, but still. Gomen nasai yo.  
  
The following are not even part of the CCS pantheon, only of my imagination: the Li family's Dragon Halls, the Li clan leader, Meilin's breaking the engagement, Syaoran's dream, the flower shop near Sakura's home, Sakura's job at the hospital and the Li heirloom necklace. I also don't know Syaoran's mother's name, so I've just referred to her as 'Lady Li'. I'm not even sure if she is the eldest in her generation. Forgive, forgive.  
  
Time set: after the second movie, way after they've finished their schooling -- which is why Sakura has a job already.  
  
Hope you all like this, as cheesy and WAFFy as it is. Feedback is very welcome at madrigalle@masakishrine.com  
  
Touya and Yukito aren't in here for a good reason. If you guys are nice enough, then maybe I'll write them a fic of their own, sort of a companion to this one if you want. Ditto for Tomoyo and Eriol. Maybe.  
  
Viva S+S.  
  
*****  
  
true happiness  
  
i don't know starry nights when i'm with you  
  
i can't even fault a moonlit night  
  
one star alone rules my world  
  
you are the only light of my life  
  
i don't know sweet jasmine when i'm with you  
  
i can't even be confused by oceans of roses  
  
one flower alone holds that scent that i love  
  
it's you only you  
  
you are my true happiness only you  
  
morning noon nighttime always you  
  
i'll never be tired of being with you  
  
i don't know the passing moments when i'm with you  
  
i can't even know storm rain lightning thunder  
  
only one answer i long for  
  
now and forever only to be with you  
  
you are my true happiness only you  
  
morning noon nighttime always you  
  
i'll never be tired of being with you  
  
true happiness: English translation by jadesword 


End file.
